


Luna

by peninja



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: JaeYong - Freeform, M/M, nct - Freeform, nonAU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peninja/pseuds/peninja
Summary: In which Taeyong is the sky and Jaehyun is the moon.





	1. Dal

_In which Taeyong is the sky who has different sides, the day and the night…_

* * *

 

 _A_ fter long hours of rehearsal the group finally managed to get a 20 minute break. It was already 1am yet none of them got a hearty dinner. They were too exhausted that they have lost their appetite already. Too weak to move around that water would just be enough.

The room was suddenly filled with weary sighs as they slump on the cold floor to give their aching backs a rest. Jaehyun managed to close his eyes, with his arms covering his face as weariness creeps up on his body. All he could hear are the other members breathing heavily as they reached the floor as well. _So this is what debuting feels like._

 

“Jaehyun-ah.”  A familiar voice suddenly called out, breaking his silent reverie. He heard footsteps approaching him, already knowing who it was but he was too tired to open his eyes. It was Taeyong. He stayed still pretending not to know Taeyong’s presence but in reality, all he could only hear on that exact moment was his heart pounding instantly. He was expecting the other to wake him up but rather, he heard him immediately walking away. Jaehyun glimpsed with his one eye opened only to see a bottle of cold water beside him and Taeyong’s back gradually disappearing on his sight. Faintly, he smiled.

 

_When will I ever understand this hyung?_

 

After the water bottle incident with Taeyong, the two never had a proper talk. Despite them being in one unit, they never interact unless there were interviews and shows which requires them to do so. Jaehyun was loved by everybody not only because he surely takes good care of them but also because he puts them first above himself, even Taeyong. But what Jaehyun doesn’t seem to take in his head was how Taeyong acts differently in front of the cameras. He was so different that Jaehyun almost believed him. _He could make a great actor._ He thought to himself.

Inside the rehearsal room where every trainee has no choice but to show themselves, Taeyong is always the bigger person. He would point out even the smallest mistake and he would eye each member carefully to know what to improve. Fortunately, everyone in the practice room is aware of that. He gives great advices, and he managed to help every member a lot. But if there is one thing that the others are more aware, it was Taeyong and his cold image that no one ever tried to break. Unlike the others who never had difficulties in showing what they feel, Taeyong is different.

 

But lately, Jaehyun seems not to think that way.

 

On their past interview, warm words for Jaehyun were slipping out of Taeyong’s mouth like those were the most natural things to say. The next day, while filming a reality show, Taeyong would link his arms around Jaehyun like it was the most natural thing to do which makes the other jump in surprise. Luckily, he could manage himself to act professionally because he knew if he couldn’t it will be the end for him. He mentally scolds himself for being out of it. He kept in mind that Taeyong would never do something he couldn’t imagine but still his whole being won’t function the way he wants to. Besides those other things, what makes  Jaehyun’s mind wonder a lot more was Taeyong’s eyes. It was always on him that it makes him feel _uncomfortable_. _His soul-piercing eyes._

 

Everytime their gaze would met, Jaehyun feels heavy as if there was something hidden in Taeyong’s eyes. Like there was something under those orbs that screams for help, trying to escape. He knew something’s wrong. The way Taeyong stares coldly, the way he shifts his gaze to him and the way his eyes pierces right through his soul makes him want to open his heart to see what’s inside.

 

“Three rooms are available. Hurry up and pick your room mates.” The manager said without giving much of any attention.

 

The members made a fuss which ended quickly when the maknae line decided to go together to occupy the first room. However, Yuta, Doyoung, Hansol and Johnny decided to go on the second room while on the third room were Taeil, Ten, Jaehyun and Taeyong who has no choice.

 

“Rest well everybody! It’ll be a long day tomorrow.” Johnny with his smooth English bid farewell as they head up on their rooms. Jaehyun, on the other hand is mentally scolding himself again for being in the third room with God knows who. He knew that being with the person who makes him drown in confusing thoughts lately would make a sleepless night but to his luck, Taeyong decided to stay out for a while that made Jaehyun thank the heavens with relief.

“You know our managers won’t like that Taeyong.” Ten blurted out, warning the other.

“They won’t know if you won’t tell.” Jaehyun felt a lump on his throat when Taeyong shifted his gaze to him with a painted smirk on his face. Then with it he disappeared from their sight.

 

“If he got caught, we got no fault.” Taeil said slightly shaking his head.

Jaehyun suddenly felt as if he was thrown a huge rock on his back without knowing why. _Did he think of me telling the managers? Then why does he need to look at me like that?_ Again, his mind starts to build up questions, making him out of himself again.

 

“Ya! Jehyun-ah! Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Ten hitting his forehead made him back to his senses making him immediately mouth a ‘sorry’.

 

What the hell is wrong with Taeyong? Jaehyun doesn’t know.

 


	2. Nycto

 

_Because the moon only glimmers in the darkest hour...._

 

* * *

If life decided to fool around then Jaehyun is a clearly chosen victim. His stomach began to somersault at the thought of sharing a bed with his cold hyung.

 

“You suck at playing rock, paper, scissors Jaehyun-ah!” Ten blurted out with a chuckle.

 

It was decided earlier that whoever loses will be the one sharing the bed with Taeyong and Jaehyun hates himself for agreeing. Now he was out of choice.

 

“Hyung, can we just forget about the deal and share beds? Please?” Jaehyun tried to act as cute as he can but deep inside his fingers were already crossed, hoping for a miracle to save him.

 

“Taeyong will kill me if I snore. He hates it.” Taeil said as a matter of fact before jumping on the bed beside him.

 

“Hyung~” He called out averting his gaze to Ten who just playfully shook his head before jumping right beside Taeil.

 

If a blackhole would appear on that moment, he is more than willing to be swallowed.

 

Jaehyun himself has no idea on what is happening between him and Taeyong. It was as if one day he woke up with Taeyong being his unusual self, giving Jaehyun unending questions without giving any possible clues. The way he treats him differently in a blur, the way he throw his gazes unexpectedly, and the way Taeyong is not Taeyong around him and only him makes him want to pull out his brain for thinking too much and for reacting the way he does right now. If it was a kind of examination he would surely get an F.

 

When Jaehyun was finally about to get the sleep he badly wanted and his commotion of thought almost reaching out its fin, he felt the bed bounce strong enough to make his dreamy self loose sleep again. He bit his bottom lip in annoyance, trying to compose himself until he felt an unusual warmth beside him. He thought if it was Ten or Taeil who changed their mind and decided to sleep with him but he was no idea since he was facing the ceiling with the blanket blinding him. He slowly slid the blanket down to his chin only to be welcomed by the strong smell of alcohol. It was Taeyong.

 

After few heavy minutes of contemplating whether to not look or to do so Jaehyun had picked the latter and carefully eyed the other faced to him. He could feel the warmth occupying his surroundings as he swallowed the lump on his throat with beads of sweat starting to form on his temples.

 

“I hate everybody.” As Jaehyun scans the other, making sure he won’t make a single move to disturb the other, Taeyong started talking groggily on his sleep, scratching the side of his face. To Jaehyun’s surprise, Taeyong slowly opened his eyes that he felt his soul almost out of his body. He hastily covered himself with the blanket, facing the other side with his heart pounding harder than ever. He heard Taeyong’s chuckle which immediately turned into a snore.

 

And that night, he wasn’t able to sleep properly.

 

Dark circles under Jaehyun’s eyes appeared to be more obvious than he expected since he has a very light, pale skin. Those bags also proved that Jaehyun, one of the heaviest sleepers among the group wasn’t able to sleep last night and he blames it all to Taeyong. Jaehyun decided to not bother himself with his unending thoughts since they will be all busy preparing for a music show. He tried to shoo it away everytime the thought of his cold hyung will dread continuously and his ‘I hate everybody’ monologue last night. Jaehyun tried to be natural in every possible way he could. With his signature smile painted on his perfectly curved lips that the members never saw fading away, he succeeded. It will be their 3rd stage after debuting but everybody seemed to be tensed as usual and Jaehyun tried to keep them unruffled by sincerely handing bottles of water to each member to loosen up a bit. It was the least he can do for he himself feels exactly the same as the others.

 

“Hyung!” He called out to hand the bottle of water to the last person which is Taeyong who seemed to not remember anything.

 

After ending the stage with their undeniable charismas, they headed immediately to their next schedule. On their way to the dorm, Jaehyun’s unwanted thoughts kept on coming back. What happened earlier backstage kept on replaying on Jaehyun’s mind like a rollercoaster on fire. Earlier, he heard one of their managers reprimanding Taeyong for a single mistake he had made which seemed no one to notice, even the members. And by that, he knew that something feels off. Taeyong is the type of person who mearly make mistakes especially on stage. He always made sure that his moves, even the slightest, are on point.

“Hyung, I didn’t know you messed up because you did very well! Don’t worry.” He smiled genuinely and patted Taeyong on his shoulder. Taeyong met his gaze with sharp eyes as if it was digging deeply. Without any word, he walked away leaving Jaehyun questioning himself again.

 

Jaehyun, for the nth time had shook his thoughts away and composed himself only to realize that they already reached the dorm. He doesn’t want anyone to notice how distracted he is but he can’t help it. And what happened backstage has worsened his situation. Something inside him won’t understand. But he wants to. He knew he just can’t continue living, questioning himself what was wrong. There was a flame lit inside him that kept burning no matter how hard he tried to put it away. No matter how hard he fights himself to stop thinking about Taeyong and the way his soul-peircing eyes looks at him, he always loses.

Saving him from his deep ocean of thoughts, he felt two arms capturing him on a back hug.

 

“Jaehyun-ah, is there something wrong?” It was Ten and he hates him for noticing.

“I was just tired.” He explains half truthfully. Ten tightened his arms on Jaehyun, securing him.

“You’ll get used to it sooner. Ah! I’ll treat you tomorrow! Will that be okay?” Jaehyun could feel the other smiling at his back. He knew he could always count on him. But maybe, not about what’s been bothering him lately.

 

Suddenly, he felt it. Those familiar gaze boring holes on his whole being, like he was being watched on every move he will make. Jaehyun diverted his eyes with orbs flaming, having an unidentified look welcoming his. It was Taeyong.

 

Swallowing the lump on his throat, his feet automatically walked towards the person who was leaning back on a wall not too far behind him, gaze still glued on him. He could not handle it anymore. The flame inside him grew stronger and it seemed like Taeyong’s words were the only thing to put it off. And he hates how his heart responded, racing oddly as if it was finding a way out to his chest. But at the back of his mind he knew it was something else.

 

“Is there something wrong? Hyung if I did something you didn’t- He was cut off when Taeyong who was leaning back earlier is now leaning towards him, making him freeze in his position.

 

“Why do everytime I feel like I’m about to break...” Taeyong paused, almost closing the remaining gap between them, looking up directly on Jaehyun’s eyes. “… you were always there.” He continued, letting out a crisp of gloominess occupy him.

 

“Why do you see me only when it’s dark?” Taeyong began to speak again almost making it sound like a whisper with his breath touching the other’s skin. His eyes slowly roamed around every detail of Jaehyun’s face until he met his gaze once again. With that, he backed away, leaving Jaehyun’s questions still unanswered, leaving Jaehyun’s heart pumping blood thrice faster than its normal state.

 

What the hell does that mean? Jaehyun doesn’t know.

 


	3. Seleno

_The moon never left but hides, always returning at night…_

* * *

 

 

                            _A_ lone in a room with darkness filling every corner, Jaehyun decided to drown himself within. Trying to free his catastrophic mind, he started moving swiftly, slowly, continuously until his legs screams for mercy. His back starts to ache and his lungs constrict with every move he make yet he doesn’t seem to care. Only what’s inside him brewing up is what he only feel occupying every inch of his weary mind. He hates it. How Taeyong’s words could affect him. How his stomach flips in his gaze. How Taeyong could take over him even without the other knowing. With those words that he doesn’t understand drives him crazy. Like a lost puppy in the in the wild not knowing what to do. If he could only rip his heart out to see what’s inside, then he would.

_“Why do you only see me when it’s dark?”_

With sweat covering him, he carelessly slumped on the cold floor with pain starting to indulge on his body.

_Taeyong._

The way he scanned his face that night.

_Taeyong._

The way his breath reached his skin, seeping on every edge.

_Taeyong._

The way their chest ruggedly raise, lips almost touching.

_Why is it Taeyong all along?_

 

Carrying himself, he leaned back on the mirror wall with eyes still closed, trying to kill the wild butterflies on his stomach.

 

To his surprise, the door of the rehearsal room flung open, making Jaehyun flinch on his seat. The smell of alcohol filled the air with a drunk Taeyong collapsing heavily. In a blur Jaehyun was holding him in his arms, trying to check if the other had hurt himself.

A bitter laugh echoed on the unlit room, bouncing on the walls as if it was longing to be heard.

 

“You? Again?” Taeyong chuckled coldly, muzzily pointing the person holding him.

 

Jaehyun breathed out worriedly, not paying attention to what the other was saying. All in his mind right now is how he would handle the drunken guy in front of him

 

“It’s you again Jaehyun-ah!” the drunk guy continued between his hiccups. He managed to sit freely as he tried to push Jaehyun’s arms away.

 

“Why?” He asked unconsciously as he stares on the empty floor, succeeding to push Jaehyun away. “Why do you always need to see me in my darkest?” His voice breaking as he halts the sobs abruptly coming out.

In Jaehyun’s mind was a brewing war but his heart was already in chaos.   

 

“Are you like them? Huh?” His voice rose suddenly making it harder to breathe for Jaehyun. “Are you one of them?!” Taeyong blurted like a loose cannon with the alcohol making it worse. “They expect a lot from me yet they treat me like a trash, throwing me away after.  But when they need me again, they will pick me up like I was the most precious thing they ever held.” Taeyong tried to speak between his sobs. He was mad with anger flaming up inside him.

 

“But you! Why were you always there when no one cares the hell about me?” Taeyong’s voice, almost turning into a shout, shaking with every word he says.  “Why are you always there when everybody chose to left me?” His voice constantly breaks as he tried to wipe his tears with trembling hands. “Of all people why is it you?” His voice softened with his own words, trying to halt his sobs away.

 

It was the first time he heard Taeyong allow himself to release the poison slowly killing him inside.  Seeing him like this, Jaehyun’s heart hurts more than his aching back and worn out legs.

With his words, Jaehyun’s tears started to fell without him noticing. He never thought of him that way in fact all he did was to admire Taeyong no matter he tried pushing him away. And besides that, he never knew Taeyong felt that way although he knew that something was wrong.

 

“Why does it have to be you?” He continued, unsure of what his question really mean, unsure if it was for Jaehyun or for himself. The effect of alcohol slowly vanishing made Taeyong finally collect himself. He felt the beast on his chest making it harder for him to breathe have been freed away.

 

“Hyung…” he was out of words to say. Rather, he leaned in closer, trying to wipe the other’s stain of tears away. His face was covered with fringes damped by sweat and tears endlessly falling earlier. He looked so broken and Jaehyun’s heart continues to ache.

 

For a while, they stayed without a word despite Jaehyun having thoughts boiling up to be said. He continued stroking every detail of the other’s face until his eyes met Taeyong’s. And with that irresistible gaze that makes his soul flinch every time, he was able to unravel the words that kept on hiding on his mouth.

 

“I’ll never leave you, no matter what.” Those words slipped out of Jaehyun’s tongue naturally as if it was bound to be said. Now he finally understands.

 

The room remained unlit, only with the moon glistening up as their source of light.

 

Taeyong who was completely broken a while ago let out a hint of smirk forming at the side of his lips. He sat up, moving closer to Jaehyun who moved back anxiously until his back hit the end, only to realize that he was being pinned on the mirror wall without any escape. Suddenly, he felt Taeyong’s fingers slowly tangling onto his. He was drowning on Taeyong’s eyes as the gap between them starts to narrow. He was getting drunk on Taeyong’s burning touch with his mind getting misty. Taeyong’s free hand playfully caressing the side of his neck makes him lose his consciousness for a while. He held his breath, trying his best to swallow the lump forming on his throat as his eyes land on Taeyong’s lips. But he knew that that was the most dangerous move he had made.

Without thinking twice, Jaehyun leaned forward and closed the remaining gap between them, feeling Taeyong’s lips on his. He was more than thankful that the darkness didn’t let him see himself because he thought that what he just did would make him look like the most pathetic person ever. After realizing what he did, he backed away only to be grabbed by Taeyong back on his arms.

 

“You said you’ll never leave me. Now prove it.” Taeyong with his playful smirk managed to say before claiming Jaehyun’s lips once more.

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was originally written last 2016.


	4. Fatum

 

 

_In which Jaehyun is the moon who was bound to be together with the night._

 

* * *

 

 _I_ t is one of their usual days as a newly debut group when everyone was all busy preparing for their schedule. Taeil, Doyoung and Mark are getting their makeups done, Ten on the other corner of the room was being his picky self about his outfit while Taeyong was outside, being reminded by the managers of what to take note, considering he is the leader of the group. Despite the room being too occupied, Jaehyun was there, sitting alone on a couch, biting his nails as his mind wander out. If there would be a so called hangover over a sudden flow of things then he would consider it happening to him right now.

 The members were tasked to attend a fan sign event which Jaehyun thought will be in favor for him. Even though the memories from that night kept on haunting him, he tries to shave it away. Since there will be numerous fans that will be attending as well, he was so sure that he could avoid Taeyong for they need to focus on the signing event.

 But he was completely wrong.

Taeyong was being extra obvious as if he was not afraid to expose _what happened between them that night on the rehearsal room_. He was acting so cheerful despite being known with his signature composed image in front of the fans and it was not easy for Jaehyun.

Standing beside each other which they would always do, Taeyong held Jaehyun on his waist, tucking him closer to him that makes the other jump, sending unnecessary shivers all over his spine. He brushes his fingers to his back and drew around little circles on it which sends Jaehyun’s sanity away for a while. His insides were burning, anxious of being noticed by all the people around them. But what he doesn’t know is that Taeyong likes it exactly that way. He enjoys how Jaehyun reacts to his playful touches and he has no plans to stop. Jaehyun, on the other hand silently prays at the back of his mind to be saved from the hands of his dangerous predator.

When they were finally asked to formally start the event, Taeyong eventually chose to sit beside his prey, continuing his unfinished business. Taeyong didn’t mind the dread of fans but rather, he took it as a wonderful opportunity.

Taeyong quickly signs the fan’s letters and posters for them to transfer immediately to Jaehyun that he knew would make the other’s attention glued on what he’s doing. He knew how Jaehyun is always like that. At all times, he makes sure to put things smoothly according to the way they should be but Taeyong seemed to have his own intentions.

Slowly, he slid his hand under the table, placing it to Jaehyun’s lap as he continues to sign the posters laid on the table with his other hand. He flashes his beaming smile to the fans as if nothing was going behind the curtains underneath. The other’s attention suddenly turned to him, throwing him a ‘what the hell is your hand doing there’ look but since there were a lot of fans in front of them, Jaehyun has no choice but to let it pass with Taeyong’s hand still remaining on his lap.

When Jaehyun finally got the opportunity, he swiftly slid his hands under the table to swat Taeyong’s hand away. But to his misfortune, it was caught by Taeyong making it look like they were intentionally holding each other’s hands. Jaehyun tried to pull it away but he couldn’t put all his strength for it will make it more noticeable by the fans. He feels extremely nervous and his heart started beating irregularly that made it harder for him. He knew that cameras are everywhere, glued to them but the guy beside him seemed to forget that makes him want to desperately pull all his hair out.

A playful smirk starts to form on the side of Taeyong’s lips. Seeing Jaehyun looking like he was almost out of blood makes him want to burst out into laughter but he knew he couldn’t for it will end his fun. He wants it to last and it’s not even on its turning point. He bit his lower lip, still trying to suppress his laughter when he met Jaehyun’s deathly glare. Without hinting any sign of giving up, Taeyong winked in return making Jaehyun more frustrated deep inside. He could feel the rush on his chest and the sweat building up on his temples yet he couldn’t do something about it. If he could only run away and never come back he really would but he was out of choice.

Still not fully amused,  Taeyong decided to spice up his game a little bit more. He started caressing Jaehyun’s fingers slowly, making Jaehyun close his eyes in frustration. One more move from Taeyong and he will explode like a bomb not caring about its timer. Trying to collect himself, he pinched Taeyong’s hand firmly making the other whine in pain. At last, Taeyong retreated with a teasing smile on his face.

Luckily, it was already time for Ten and Doyoung’s special ment. While the two performs, the other members were assigned to stay at the back to watch them. Knowing that the main attention would be on the two, Jaehyun cautiously approached Taeyong who was likely enjoying the event.

 

“What do you think are you doing?” Jaehyun whispered to Taeyong trying hard not to be perceptible.

 

“What? I didn’t do anything. I just touched your hands accidentally.” Giving emphasis to the word accidentally, Taeyong was still on his game in fact he was more than having fun.

 

“Is it bad to touch your hands? You kissed m-“ He continued, still trying to act innocently as if it was alright to be heard.

 

“You are not t-touching them hyung. Stop it.” Jaehyun cut him immediately, slightly panicking inside. Now he scolds himself as regret wraps him around for asking Taeyong on the first place. He tried to cool himself down but he knew he was caught on the trap he had made himself.

 

“Do you know what I really like about your fair skin?” His evil smirk which he was trying to hide earlier is now completely painted on his lips. “It undeniably shows how much I affect you.” He continued as he chuckled huskily.

 

“W-what do you mean?” Jaehyun can’t help but to stutter. Suddenly, they were interrupted when Mark came up with a worried expression on his face.

 

“Hyung! Why are you deep red?  Are you sick?” Mark reached out to touch Jaehyun’s forehead to check.

 

“N-no, I’m alright! It’s just, uh, hot.” He lied as he fans himself with his hands. If he could hide away forever, then Jaehyun would be more than grateful to do it on that moment. And if he could throw Taeyong on the river of Styx, he really would.

 

The event ended warmly yet it was tiring for the all of them. Luckily, they were sent back to their dorm as soon as possible to have their ever wanted rest. It’s been tough for everyone since they still haven’t been used to it and being a newly debut group under one of the biggest companies doubles the pressure.

Everyone was wearily making their way inside when Jaehyun was pulled by a familiar hand and dragged to a place where it was only the two of them and right before he knew he was cornered. He knew it was Taeyong. He thought his game ended as well at the end of the event but unfortunately, it was still on.

 

“I want you to answer me honestly without holding back.”  It was him with his deep, husky voice.

 

“Do you perhaps…” He met Jaehyun’s gaze, trying to break the boundaries between them. “like me?” He continued still cornering the other.

 

Jaehyun hates himself. He hates himself for being dragged, he hates himself for being speechless, and he hates himself for not being good at lying.

He wants to say no and push him away, afraid of what lies ahead. He wants to run and never come back, afraid of how will things turn out.

But his heart, his ever chaotic heart that has been beating divergently, had grew fearlessly and choses to stay.

 

“Shh. I don’t need your answer because I know.” Before Jaehyun could answer, Taeyong placed his finger on his lips halting whatever words he would say.

 

“What I want you to know is that…you make me insanely, deeply do the same to you.”

 

And with those words they knew were walls behind starting to emerge. Walls that will either keep them or set them apart.

 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
